Looks...Pinteresting?: vegetables

Kale.

Kale, it's a leafy green if you didn't know. It's very nutritious. I actually like it, it's got a spinach like texture, does well in the juicer, and when it's cooked, it works like cabbage but not quite so strong in flavor. But it does not photograph well. Ever. Here, let me show you.

Have you ever forgotten about a head of lettuce in the fridge? And when you found it, weeks later, it had turned into a watery, slimy mess? You can achieve the same look by simply baking kale leaves!

You can make it too!

I am pretty sure I found a small pile of this in my chicken run this morning. I started giving the chickens a new feed and this was the result.

You can make it too!

Now, at least this blogger tried to hide the slimy mess under some gorgeous tomatoes. Sadly, it was not enough to hide the fact they skinned a certain Muppet to make their sandwich.

You can make it too!

Poor Oscar, sacrificed for the love of Kale.

Kale the Grouch photo found here

Mushrooms. Not just a fun-guy!

Mushrooms are "not my favorite". My mother taught me this very useful phrase, "not my favorite". It means something like, "this food makes me want to barf, but I'm going say so politely." I have taught my four children children to say this. #3 still just says, "I hate this food." She'll catch on.

Back to mushrooms. They are NOT MY FAVORITE. To me, they are like dirt-flavored Jell-o. Which is kind of appropriate really.

Which brings me to one of my favorite collections of Pintresting Food Fails: mushrooms.

It's one thing that mushroom taste like dirt-flavored Jell-o, but it's another thing to actually encapsulate mushroom in dirt-colored Jell-o.

You can make it too!

I feel bad for home-chef-food-bloggers. Not only do most have no photography skills, but they have no food styling skills. So when they make a saucy dish, it looks like baby poop to me. (I also do not possess said skills, but I am perfectly capable of making fun of said bloggers, so there.)